Hello my friends,
A couple of months ago, a dear friend suggested I write a supportive note every day for a month: “30 days to easy fitness.”
The idea rattled around in my brain and I realized I’m the one who needs the transformation.
Two days ago I found myself suddenly looking through my cosmetic drawer and throwing away old lipsticks. There were colors that I don’t like and some all the way to the bottom of the tube that I’ve been eking out instead of replacing.
It was the tip of the iceberg of transformation. Lipsticks were evidently the keystone, and pulling them out loosened a lot of other blocks I’ve had. I’ve been holding on too hard to 25 years of who I was, instead of letting go into who I am becoming.
If not now, when? If I am not for me, who will be?
Last Wednesday, I asked my coach how he sees me; how far am I from beginning to compete? He said, “You’re already ready. We could get ready in a month.” There’s a comp coming up in just under 4 months; easy decision. Then I wondered about one coming up at the end of next month. He said we need to decide about six weeks before the competition; we’ll see how it goes. Maybe.
I realized that six weeks ahead of the comp is about ten days from today.
I looked down at my feet in their black Supadance practice shoes and said, “I need shoes and I need a dress.” He said, shoes are much earlier and of course that’s true. I need to be balanced in heels. I’m not worried about it, but it’s time to get started: now. Today.
It all coalesced for me yesterday. Something about throwing away the lipsticks broke the ice and a river began to flow.
I realized that I need to be fitter and would like to lose weight. The 30 days to easy fitness idea came drifting back into my head, but it’s more than that.
It’s 30 days to easy transformation.
Pulling a Cinderella number on myself, and that means the internal work as well as getting fit and losing weight.
I want to be light and tight, lithe and flexible and strong.
I also want to shake what I see as a veil of depression, taking care of others and not myself. It’s time to devote energy to caring for my appearance. Dance is also about “the Look.” I have been rather “flat” in my aspect, throwing on old practice wear and running to dance, but not taking care to put myself together. It was to the point I don’t know what I have that would fit or look good anymore.
Ella Cinders can’t go to the Ball. I need a real transformation.
More, I will commit to it by getting rid of the old stuff that I can hide behind. It has to go OUT so that my hiding – my big secret is that I hide – that has to stop.
The actress in me must come out. Eight years of theater and film training come back to me. It is within me, buried deep.
Time to uncover, to peel away the layers under which the shy hurt places cannot heal as they’re hidden from the Light. If people laugh at me or approach me and I feel shy, I will use Alexander Technique to be grounded in myself. Pause, breathe, ask myself, did anything really happen?
Having my own back is part of the transformation.
30 Days to Cinderella at the Ball. That’s what my task is. I will share my days with you and see if some of it is useful for you, as well.
My closet is full of things some of which are 25 years old. I hold on too long, that’s what a therapist said to me once, years ago when I was meeting with her.
Alexander Technique is a wonderful tool for learning to release tension – to let go – and I can mentally let go as well. Opening the closely held fist of a past life that is now gone, opening my hand and releasing the physical representation in the form of clothing and objects that served me once but only clog up my closets, today.
First things first: getting fit and doing my hair!
Follow along if you like. I hope it inspires you.
I will share it for anyone curious about 30 days to easy fitness.
More like, 30 days to Cinderella Transformation.
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